Catching up & CreativeTherapy

Posted on | June 28, 2009 | 4 Comments

Goodness, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with life. I’ve continued to paint daily, but nothing passed what I call the gesso test. It wasn’t going to get any better and so I just laid gesso over the images to start over. I’ve sketched some images on the newly gessoed canvases and I hope to have something to share this week.

Last week was spent doing my civic duty – I was chosen as a juror on a homicide trial. It was intense, exhausting, and incredibly sad to participate in. That’s all I’ll say about it. It was an exhausting week in which there was no art and there were lots of hours of solemn reflection. Let me just say two things:

First, I know that many people do everything they can to get out of jury duty. It is always inconvenient to our daily lives. However, it’s one of the most important things you can do – to make sure that fairness is clearly provided to a defendant and to the prosecution. Second, the one thing that was brought home even more than it already was: NEVER drive under the influence of alcohol or another substance. Enough said.

On to other things.

I did participate in CreativeTherapy for the first time in a while. I used an old photo and altered it. Here is the catalyst and what I said:

Catalyst: Did your life turn out how you imagined?

My response:

Shipwreck Beach, Kauai, Hawaii

I don’t even remember what I thought my life would turn out like. I think I focused so much on getting out of where I was that I never really thought about it. I never had a good role model to show me what the possibilities are.

I suppose I thought I’d be a scientist, a business person, a professional. I never pictured myself anything but struggling and working hard. I didn’t ever think that I would be a person who could relax and enjoy life and enjoy just being with someone. As a kid, I don’t think I ever really believed I’d be in love and that there was a true soulmate out there for me. But that was so long ago and such a hard time. I have come so far from that scared child running away into something else – safety, I suppose -  but not knowing what it was or how it would look.

For the past 20 years – nearly half of my life – I’ve been with Dave and we’ve been together and happy and in love. And everything else has become secondary. I worked for a while and I pushed myself hard. But when I developed chronic illness problems, I had to slow down. And, when I really slowed down and agreed to just find out who I am and where I am, I think I finally started to dream about what my life could be.

Now, I take time to relax. To explore. To just be. I take photos; I draw; I paint. I take care of myself and my husband. I don’t run any longer. I have made peace with who I am today and I don’t wonder who I would be. I am who I am and I am constantly growing.

Comments