Last week was spent doing my civic duty – I was chosen as a juror on a homicide trial. It was intense, exhausting, and incredibly sad to participate in. That’s all I’ll say about it. It was an exhausting week in which there was no art and there were lots of hours of solemn reflection. Let me just say two things:

First, I know that many people do everything they can to get out of jury duty. It is always inconvenient to our daily lives. However, it’s one of the most important things you can do – to make sure that fairness is clearly provided to a defendant and to the prosecution. Second, the one thing that was brought home even more than it already was: NEVER drive under the influence of alcohol or another substance. Enough said.

On to other things.

I did participate in CreativeTherapy for the first time in a while. I used an old photo and altered it. Here is the catalyst and what I said:

Catalyst: Did your life turn out how you imagined?

My response:

Shipwreck Beach, Kauai, Hawaii

I don’t even remember what I thought my life would turn out like. I think I focused so much on getting out of where I was that I never really thought about it. I never had a good role model to show me what the possibilities are.

I suppose I thought I’d be a scientist, a business person, a professional. I never pictured myself anything but struggling and working hard. I didn’t ever think that I would be a person who could relax and enjoy life and enjoy just being with someone. As a kid, I don’t think I ever really believed I’d be in love and that there was a true soulmate out there for me. But that was so long ago and such a hard time. I have come so far from that scared child running away into something else – safety, I suppose -  but not knowing what it was or how it would look.

For the past 20 years – nearly half of my life – I’ve been with Dave and we’ve been together and happy and in love. And everything else has become secondary. I worked for a while and I pushed myself hard. But when I developed chronic illness problems, I had to slow down. And, when I really slowed down and agreed to just find out who I am and where I am, I think I finally started to dream about what my life could be.

Now, I take time to relax. To explore. To just be. I take photos; I draw; I paint. I take care of myself and my husband. I don’t run any longer. I have made peace with who I am today and I don’t wonder who I would be. I am who I am and I am constantly growing.

heART swap doodle. others can be seen at http://www.flickr.com/photos/artsyinaz/

Thank you to those of you who have sent me emails of hope that there was not a break in the wrist. Luckily, there was no break of bones, but two ligaments were torn. I’m using a wrist splint and will be for the next 3 weeks, when I get to have x-rays and follow-up again. I can use my fingers, which is a relief, especially for typing! However, writing and drawing are difficult when you can’t move your wrist. Who knew?

Before I hurt my hand, I did some doodle drawings for a swap I’m in. I rarely do swaps, but this was one that intrigued me. Mother Henna is hosting it, and her work is so unique that I couldn’t resist. I’m so glad I finished the pieces early, or I would be in a world of hurt right now! Each piece is hand-doodled and numbered. All in pen and ink. I didn’t want to add color for this one, because I liked the graphic nature of it.

Today I am going to try to find something arty to do that doesn’t require the wrist. Perhaps some work on the sewing machine?

Yesterday I had my treatment. We had to move my treatment up because my vertigo has been hitting with a vengeance. I’m doing better – though I do have the lovely side-effects of the medication: nausea, fatigue… Lovely, eh?

And so today, while dealing with these lovely side-effects, I have the added stress of the election.  I have been impatiently watching the news, changing the channel when it gets too upsetting. And, no the returns have not come out yet. The upsetting part is that in this great nation, the nation that is the beacon for democracy, we have people who are kept from their given right to vote. I suspect I’ll stay up as long as I can to find out about the outcome. Though, honestly, with all the problems out there, it could be a few days. I’m trying to keep myself grounded.

And, as usual, to keep myself grounded, I am sitting in the studio. I have spent some time today going through magazines that have piled up – recycled some to a friend; others I’ll see if another friend wants. If not, to Freecyle they go… I’ve also done some journaling. There is very little to show but this past week’s CreativeTherapy result:

Catalyst 34 - A Song That Brings Back Memories

As long as I can remember, listening to music has been a part of my life. It was hard to pick just one to focus on, but as I went through iTunes to find a song that made me smile with a memory, I came across Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot”. It’s an odd song for a memory, but really, it brings back memories for me.

When I was growing up, I had a close friend, Jeanmarie, who lived around the corner from me. Late in junior high school, we started an annual tradition. The night before the first day of school each year, we would walk for about a mile to a playground, talking about the year ahead, our nerves and anxiety about the first day of school, teachers, etc. Jean Marie was the first one who taught me how to wear make-up. Jean Marie and I were huge Pat Benatar fans and we went to her concert together in the early 80s. We had such a great friendship and a lovely tradition. This song brings back the memory of that annual walk and daily connections at the bus stop.

Art Every Day Month

I’ve joined two challenges this week, as well:

Art Every Day Month – sponsored by the fabulous Leah. The idea is for us to add creativity and art to our lives every day. Admittedly, with the vertigo and treatment I’ve been a bit lax in my art. However, I have spent some time reading, doodling in my journal, and catching up on blogs. All, I think, are creative endeavors.

and

Embrace the Face

Embrace the Face, which I found through a few blogs I follow. If nothing else, it will force me to get out my paints and paint at least one face each month. That will be good practice. This month’s topic is “lace” and I’ve drawn the basic image. I’m going to set up my palate in a moment… Painting grounds me in a way that nothing else does, so I’m off to be “in the moment” with my brushes and my paints.

Have a great Election Day!